"I misinterpreted the rules!"
Hell hath no fury like the Chinese scorned. Ever since the great Dolce & Gabbana scandal happened, the Italian brand has been rushing into damage control trying to salvage what's left of the situation.
While they certainly won't be the last brand to get themselves into hot water, we thought it would be helpful to compile a list of somewhat legit excuses that you could possibly use the next time you've run into a crisis.
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are only meant in jest, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Singapore Tatler.
1. You were just really hangry and lost your temper. After all, people in fashion don't eat right?
Success rate: 7/10.
Take a page out of Naomi Campbell's playbook and blame anger management issues and willingly check yourself into a rehabilitation program. Ensure the paparazzi snaps photos of you dressed in head-to-toe high fashion every single day. When you look this fabulous, eventually the public will forgive you. After all, everyone loves a great comeback story.
2. Just play it like Shaggy—say it wasn’t you!
Success rate: 0/10.
I mean, let's be honest. Did anyone really believe Stefano Gabbana when he said he got hacked? Exactly. Next time leave the PR crisis to…your PR team. Next. #NOTME
(Related: Society Darling Chloe Ng’s Runway Diary: Behind The Cancelled Dolce & Gabbana Show In Shanghai)
3. Blame it on the a-a-a-a-alchohol
Success rate: 8/10.
There is a lot the public is willing to forgive. Racism and bigotry are rarely one of those things. But racism and bigotry while intoxicated? Now that's a moral grey area that people tend to harbour a soft spot for. Most people understand that being under the influence makes us do or say the craziest things. After all, who hasn't had one too many drinks and tried to start a fight for no reason? Just look at John Galliano. He went from being the anti-Semitic drunk creative director of Dior to the reformed addict heading Maison Margiela. Do the time, pay for the crime and you'll be able to (once again) re-establish yourself on the BoF 500.
4. Create An Even Bigger Scandal
Success rate: 7.5/10
Release a sex tape. We guarantee people will spend time looking for it on the deep bowels of the internet instead of using that time to get angry at you. Sex sells, but a sex tape sells even better.