"I misinterpreted the rules!"

Hell hath no fury like the Chinese scorned. Ever since the great Dolce & Gabbana scandal happened, the Italian brand has been rushing into damage control trying to salvage what's left of the situation.

While they certainly won't be the last brand to get themselves into hot water, we thought it would be helpful to compile a list of somewhat legit excuses that you could possibly use the next time you've run into a crisis.

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are only meant in jest, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Singapore Tatler.

1. You were just really hangry and lost your temper. After all, people in fashion don't eat right?

Success rate: 7/10.

Take a page out of Naomi Campbell's playbook and blame anger management issues and willingly check yourself into a rehabilitation program. Ensure the paparazzi snaps photos of you dressed in head-to-toe high fashion every single day. When you look this fabulous, eventually the public will forgive you. After all, everyone loves a great comeback story.

Tatler Asia

2. Just play it like Shaggysay it wasn’t you!

Success rate: 0/10.

I mean, let's be honest. Did anyone really believe Stefano Gabbana when he said he got hacked? Exactly. Next time leave the PR crisis to…your PR team. Next. #NOTME

(Related: Society Darling Chloe Ng’s Runway Diary: Behind The Cancelled Dolce & Gabbana Show In Shanghai)

3. Blame it on the a-a-a-a-alchohol

Success rate: 8/10.

There is a lot the public is willing to forgive. Racism and bigotry are rarely one of those things. But racism and bigotry while intoxicated? Now that's a moral grey area that people tend to harbour a soft spot for. Most people understand that being under the influence makes us do or say the craziest things. After all, who hasn't had one too many drinks and tried to start a fight for no reason? Just look at John Galliano. He went from being the anti-Semitic drunk creative director of Dior to the reformed addict heading Maison Margiela. Do the time, pay for the crime and you'll be able to (once again) re-establish yourself on the BoF 500.

4. Create An Even Bigger Scandal

Success rate: 7.5/10

Release a sex tape. We guarantee people will spend time looking for it on the deep bowels of the internet instead of using that time to get angry at you. Sex sells, but a sex tape sells even better.

 

Tatler Asia
Above Image: Pixabay

5. Cry out FAKE NEWS

Success rate: 5/10 on a case by case basis.

Look, it worked for Donald Trump every single time he said something questionable ok? And yet 51 per cent of America STILL love him. So, why fix something if it ain't broke?

6. Claim It Was Scripted

Success rate: 6/10

People love to get angry. I mean, have you ever scrolled down to the comments section of any social media platform? Incurring the wrath of people is the quickest way to get something shared on the internet. Case in point, the fictitious brand Ivory Lane that was created by World Wide Fund for Nature Singapore (WWF-Singapore) that turned out to be part of an online campaign to bring forth awareness against the usage of ivory in Singapore. And then quickly advocate for whatever it was that you were being called out on. Donate money to a cause if you have to. The most important thing is for people to see you have some remorse for whatever it is you did.

7. Completely Overhaul Your Team

Success rate: 8/10

This might seem harsh but get rid of whoever it was that created the problem. Say that it was some random renegade who is beyond your control and then replace that person with someone that everyone loves. Poach them from a different company if you have to—you're in crisis mode! Sometimes you just have to cut the foot to save the leg.

(Related: Behind The Controversy Of Ivory Lane)

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