Is it OK to hint at your six degrees of connections? Anthonia Hui, Loh Lik Peng, Adrian Peh and Johnny Manglani share their opinions on the great debate.
Is it OK to hint at your six degrees of connections? Anthonia Hui, Loh Lik Peng, Adrian Peh and Johnny Manglani share their opinions on the great debate.
Anthonia Hui
The CEO at AL Wealth Partners, Anthonia believes connecting with others is a natural behaviour but name-dropping isn’t. Don’t try boasting about a wide online social network as she does not take such claims at face value.
Hinting at your six degrees of connections is akin to name-dropping, which I find inappropriate under all circumstances. It is perhaps only acceptable when you have been authorised to use someone’s name for a good cause and doing so is absolutely necessary. Human beings are social beings, thus networking is a natural behaviour in society.
Connections are built over a lifetime under various circumstances, from social to business, studying together and just by chance. There are many virtues of networking but a network should be tapped on only for the right reasons and very carefully.
First, you have to identify the right chemistry, then build a foundation of common trust which normally evolves into some form of friendship. With this foundation laid, you can easily ask the other party to share their knowledge and experience. Some people deliberately set out to establish connections in as many circles possible, and there are those who only want to get acquainted with people who can add “value” to their business or life agenda. On the other hand, you sometimes get to connect with people with no preconceived or calculated motives. So, connecting with others can be a pleasant, neutral or unpleasant experience. Personally, I’ve always enjoyed meeting people as my exchanges with them enrich my life.
Loh Lik Peng
The founder of Unlisted Collection of hotels and restaurants, Lik Peng believes that while knowing people can be helpful, it’s equally important to know what you are doing. “Don’t use connections as a crutch. You won’t be well-liked or well-regarded if people come to think that you are a user,” he says.
I find name-dropping distasteful. My take is that name-droppers are usually a little insecure about themselves or seeking to create an impression that they are important and influential. Hinting at one’s connections does work on some people, however, it has diminishing returns. Unless the person you are trying to impress is really naive, sooner or later they will realise you are just name-dropping and can’t deliver.
I usually take name-dropping with a pinch of salt. I do want to give people the benefit of the doubt but sometimes when they really lay it on, it becomes very off-putting and you lose trust in them. So, the effects can be the complete opposite of what they had intended. Depending on the situation, a person’s connections may be used as a measure of their worth. In some industries like insurance, sales and private banking, having such relationships can indeed make a person more valuable to their company. But it’s never just about connections.
If you’re deciding whether or not to go into business with someone, you won’t just look at their connections; you’ll want good chemistry with the other party and to be able to trust them. While having a good network is helpful and important in life, it’s also crucial to treat people right. You have to be sensitive and respect their boundaries in personal, social and business spheres. You will not be well-liked or well-regarded if people think you are a user.
Adrian Peh
Adrian Peh, managing director of law firm Yeo-Leong & Peh, says a good network can be built through personal introductions based on individual integrity and reputation.
Under no circumstance is it good practice to hint at one’s network, be it social, business, political or others. It’s tantamount to name-dropping, which I don’t think is right, especially if it’s calculated for the purpose of benefiting oneself.
We’re living in a connected world, with the internet presenting us social platforms such as Facebook and LinkedIn, which are good for connecting people across the globe. We should be happy and willing to connect friends and business associates in this way, without any need to hint at the network.
At the end of the day, when we bridge like-minded people for a good cause, there is great satisfaction when it leads to real, long-lasting friendships and partnerships. Participating in business, social and community activities can also get one more connected. Lend someone a helping hand or give back to society without any expectation of return and I believe everything else will fall into place, because what goes around comes around.
Johnny Manglani
“It’s not what you know, but who you know” has held true for Johnny Manglani, founder and president of Uomo Group, who says networking is the first step on the path to success.
In our world of smartphones where social and cultural assimilation are key to globalisation, corporate and personal branding is tantamount to the success of many businesses. While relentlessly name-dropping isn’t ideal, our networks often underscore our values, character and personality, which creates identity and differentiation.
For those who have worked hard at developing a multifaceted network, leveraging on it can provide relevance to recruiters, propel starts-ups and even help catch that twinkling smile across the room. In retail, recommendations are the number one factor across all stages of the purchase cycle, witnessed by family and friends weighing in via WhatsApp and brand managers building armies of influencers.
There is no shame in taking an occasional bounce on one’s carefully woven network. After all, friends and family are one’s most sacred assets.