You had a ball at the recent Singapore Tatler Ball – but did you play by the social rules? Take a look at how you measure up against the dos and don'ts. 

 

Dos

Adhere to the dress code. Make the effort to dress to theme, or at least dress up to the requisite formality. One familiar face broke this cardinal rule when she turned up for a black-tie ball in a LBD. Remind your plus-one of the dress code. One young gentleman was terribly embarrassed when his date arrived at a ball in shorts.

RSVP. Regardless of your social popularity, letting organisers know if you will or will not attend helps with their planning. Besides, you don’t want to show up unexpectedly and be squeezed into an already full table. At the same time, let organisers know your dietary restrictions so they have ample time to plan alternative menu options for you.

Be fashionably punctual. Punctuality for sit-down events is always appreciated. Arriving 15 to 30min late is acceptable, but unless you’re the guest of honour, do try to arrive in time for cocktails.

Stick to your allocated seats. Sociopolitical factors were carefully weighed when drawing up the seating plan. Guests have unsettled the social equilibrium by blatantly switching placards to sit at “better tables” or with friends—always to the chagrin of organisers. Even if you’re somehow less than overjoyed with your allocated dining companions, take heart: getting up to mingle throughout the night is highly encouraged.

Practise table manners. The basics: wait for everyone’s course to be served before tucking in; never put your knife to your mouth; don’t talk with your mouth full. If you arrive late, don’t insist on starting from the first course—or having all the courses served at once!—when others are already on their fourth.

Socialise. Yes, your Facebook friends know you’re at the Ball. Now put your phone down and socialise in person! Don’t be like the socialite who sulked through dinner because she wasn’t seated with friends. This is a good time to get to know others outside your clique. The weather is nothing if not a reliable topic for small talk, but a sincere compliment makes a better conversation starter.

Enjoy the after-party. The dance floor and bar are open, have fun! You won’t overstay your welcome… unless you misbehave. (We’ve all witnessed the tipsy groper, husband-baiting hussy, goodie bag thief and their ilk.)

Dont's 

Assume invites are transferable. No, you can’t let someone else take your place. No, you can’t bring a companion without having first checked with the organisers. Yes, it’s always wise to check if you plan to bring someone the host knows but didn’t invite (there’s often good reason). Tension around the table was palpable when a lady brought along an unpopular acquaintance after her husband pulled out.

Mistreat the wait staff. Being difficult, rude, impatient or sarcastic to every waiter reflects more about your character than their poor service.

Come for the hunt. Everyone’s here to have a ball. Don’t go round fixated on business networking, exchanging name cards and aggressively hard-selling your business proposal. Even if you’re organising an upcoming charity event, lay off tonight’s sponsors. You can hound them for support tomorrow. 

Hog the event photographer. If you’re not queuing for the photo wall, don’t drag the photographer away from his duties there just to get a shot of you. And no, it’s not acceptable to ask for several retakes just because he didn’t get you at that precise “best angle”. 

StealOne lady was infamously blacklisted after she was seen fishing out the most expensive gift from over a dozen goodie bags while guests were on the dance floor. And no, the centrepieces, decorations, tableware and bottles of alcohol from the open bar are really not yours for the taking.

Hijack guests. Herding off friends to your own private party before the night’s programme ends is being disrespectful to your hosts and other guests.

Talk while the host is giving a speech. Whispering counts, too. There's plenty of time to mingle after the speech. 

 

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