12 Lies To Tell Your Spouse On Valentine’s Day (And Any Other Day)

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February 10, 2017 | BY Chong Seow Wei

FYI, we only tell lies that stem from good intentions.

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Photo: 123RF

You are happily married. Life is great. Until this: your other half throws you a curveball in the form of a trick question about their weight or places you in a pickle because of their (below-average) cooking. All you can think of is how you’re going to escape, but you know you’re going to have to return home eventually.

What if you could squirm your way out of such predicaments with a white lie or two? This is not to say we condone lying, but with great pressure comes not so great responses. Put on your poker face and give our list of harmless false statements a go.

*Disclaimer: Singapore Tatler is not liable for any physical harm inflicted on the person or persons involved, regardless of whether injuries are caused by negligence or natural inability to lie.

  • What do you mean you’re fat? I hardly feel anything when we hug.
  • That Hervé Leger dress fits you like a glove and accentuates your every curve!
  • Your mum was right. You do look like George Clooney, especially today.
  • Oh, eating at home tonight is fine too. I’m used to cooking for two anyway.
  • Wow! Is this a new recipe for healthy roast pork? All the fats are burnt off.
  • Of course I didn’t watch the last episode of Westworld without you.
  • I’ll wear that orange shirt with pink peonies you got me five years ago. If I can find it.
  • That lady’s legs has nothing on yours—they’re umm… not very… umm.
  • Yes, the kids showered, did all their homework, didn’t eat any candy, didn’t watch any TV, brushed their teeth and got to bed in time.
  • What, this old bag? Definitely not new. Definitely. I’m quite sure.    
  • Your mum has a botox emergency and your dad sprained his wrist playing golf, so they can’t spend the day with us.
  • Sure, let’s take the Pagani today instead of the Rolls-Royce.

(Related: 6 Gifts To Not Give On Valentine’s Day)