Maaike Steinebach, co-CEO of the FemTech Association Asia, goes head-to-head with Jessi Chloe Chen, entrepreneur and mental health advocate, in this month’s great debate
Should couples have access to each other’s personal devices and social media accounts?
Jessi Chloe Chen: YES
“In healthy long-term partnerships, of which honesty and communication are the foundation, sharing access to devices and accounts should not be an issue. When people choose to share their lives—and in a world where digital footprints often define our identities—sharing access can be a natural extension of mutual trust. It’s about creating a culture of transparency, practicality and co-operation within a relationship, where access is given willingly, not demanded.
This should not be a default expectation, and never be about prying or control, but rather about transparency and openness. It’s like leaving the bathroom door unlocked—it’s not an invitation to barge in but an expression of trust and vulnerability.
Sharing access is also practical for managing shared tasks, coordinating schedules or even handling emergencies. It’s a reflection of the shared life we lead.
While open communication and trust are the foundations of any healthy relationship, sharing access should be a personal decision made by each couple, based on their unique dynamic. It can deepen intimacy—but only where high levels of open communication and trust already exist. If either person feels pressured or mistrustful, then it’s a clear sign that access should not be granted.”
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Maaike Steinebach: NO
“In the digital era, where personal devices and social media accounts make up a significant part of our lives, it’s important to consider boundaries and privacy between couples. There are valid reasons why couples may choose not to have access to each other’s personal devices and accounts.
Having personal space and privacy is crucial for individual growth and independence. Couples should respect each other’s need for personal boundaries, allowing each person to cultivate their own interests and friendships.
Unrestricted access to each others’ personal devices and social media accounts can lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary jealousy. Innocent interactions with friends or colleagues can be misinterpreted, causing strain on a relationship.
Couples should maintain a level of autonomy. Trust is built on open communication, honesty and respecting each other’s choices. Allowing each person to have their own personal space reinforces this trust and strengthens the bond between partners.
I’m a big believer in having personal space. I also believe that your partner doesn’t need to know everything about you. Giving each other the freedom to maintain personal privacy can contribute to a healthier and more balanced relationship.”