In the digital world electronic invites reign supreme and the handwritten invitation has become nearly obsolete, but here we ask several socialites what they think of the traditional courtesy of the RSVP.

Illustration by Kitty N. Wong

After last month's debate on whether arriving fashionably late to a dinner party is acceptable, this month we turn up the heat in question of the traditional RSVP (Respondez S’il Vous Plait) and whether or not it has become a dying art.


Alex Chew

Co-founder of Bacchanalia restaurant

YES. We are in the Digital Age where social media has become so integrated into our lives, and it is often that invitations are sent out through such platforms. However, most people, myself included, don’t feel the need to click our attendance for events that sent out its invites via Facebook, for example, because they aren’t as personalised as say a hard copy or an e-mail invite even. 

So I would say that the RSVP is dying in a way, although it really boils down to the avenue that is used to send it out. When I receive a tangible invite, I would consider it rude to not reply. Yet when I see the sheer number of pending invites on my social media homepage, there isn’t that same draw that compels me to want to give a response.


Alice Oei

Works on the family business at Oei Hong Leong Foundation

YES. RSVP, unfortunately, is a dying art. It is important for the host and event organisers to know the number of guests expected at an event, so to not reply is discourteous, to say the least.

In this age of electronic invitations, perhaps it may slip a mind or two to respond in kind, but generally I feel there is an increasing disrespect for the RSVP. I myself am guilty of only responding to most invitations after receiving a few reminders. One more New Year resolution.

 

Peggy Jeffs

Socialite and veteran organiser with over two decades' experience in planning and hosting major events

NO. RSVP or Repondez s’il vous plait means “Please reply”. Therefore, whether I am able or unable to make an event, and whether it is an important dinner or a small private party, I never fail to give a reply. However, these days, many do not bother to do so. This suggests a lack of a level of social etiquette and consideration towards the hosts, who have given the time and effort to organise an event that they feel would accommodate and ensure that their guests have a good time.  

Whether it’s a large-scale gala or a small private party, letting the host know of your attendance is not only a form of courtesy, as it makes it easier for him or her to plan the menu and seating arrangement, it is also an indication of your graciousness.


Cecilia Leong-Faulkner

Managing director, British Theatre Playhouse

NO. I don't really think so. However, there was a time when people were less busy with life, work and looking at their smart phones, which accompany them everywhere! So, once upon a time, people had more spare time to do mundane things including replying to event and party invitations. 

When people do not RSVP to events they are invited to, I would like to think that it is because there are so occupied with many other things, besides eating, working, sleeping and just breathing. When people do not reply to nice and classy invitations, I don’t think it’s deliberate.

When you don't hear from them, it could well be that the invitations are buried in a pile of emails or paper piled high and deep, or they may have completely forgotten! Granted, there will be the odd few who will not bother to RSVP but that could be because they are probably not interested in certain type of events in the first place. 

To conclude, RSVP is not a dying art. However, my advice for event organisers would be this: be mindful of the preferences and lifestyles of your audience and make sure there is a "good fit" between the nature of your event and your invitation list, to improve the rate of response!

 

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