In September's big debate, we ask Marvina Low, Taha Bouqdib, Michael Ma, Celina Lin and Ingrid Pratsaya to weigh in on whether being fashionably late to a dinner party is considered rude. 

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After last month's debate on whether local labels were worth the price tag of international designer brands, this month we ask Marvina Low, Taha Bouqdib, Michael MaCelina Lin and Ingrid Pratsaya for their opinion on punctuality with regards to dinner parties.  

Marvina Low

Former president of Ikebana International


YES

It is definitely, especially if it is a small affair. Arriving 15 minutes late may still be acceptable, but anytime after that will be enough to irk not just the host but also the guests who have made the effort to be on time. It also shows a disregard for the host, who had taken the pain to organise a beautiful evening, and only to have it ruined by guests who felt nothing of showing up late.

I know of some people who are perpetually late even if they live near a party venue, and also of others who feel the need to make a grand entrance after spending much time dolling up. Both, to me, are examples of bad behaviour and should be sufficient for them to be struck off future guest lists. So, there is absolutely nothing fashionable about being late.

 

Taha Bouqdib

Co-founder of TWG Tea Company


NO

From the perspective of a guest, it is often a bit awkward to arrive at a dinner party on time. If I am the first person to arrive, not only is there usually no one else to speak with except the host or be introduced to, but I also tend to experience a nagging feeling that I might have rushed the host, that they might have wanted to have a few extra minutes to put the finishing touches to their dinner preparations, and I put them out of their way.

However, I do also believe that this is a cultural debate, since in Europe no one would ever think of arriving on time to a dinner party and arriving 15 to 30 minutes after the time of invitation is not just acceptable but expected. And being fashionably late has really nothing to do with fashion at all, but rather is part of dinner party etiquette.

 

Michael Ma

Founder of IndoChine Group


YES

Be it a dinner party or any other event, it is rude to arrive late. There must be a reason for the host of the party to have given a specific time in their invite, and by turning up late, it is tantamount to letting him or her that you do not care about the party they have organized. Besides, if the other guests were able to be on time, why can’t you?

It is understandable, however, where there are a few occasions when you cannot help but arrive later than you had hoped. But when that happens, it is good manners to let your host know that you will be running late. And upon arrival, instead of strutting into the venue unapologetically, you should be going up to the host to express your apologies. Moreover, arriving late is certainly not fashionable at all.

 

Celina Lin

Socialite


YES

It is rude for anyone to arrive “fashionably late” unless you happen to be the Queen, who is herself always quite punctual.

When I am late, I try to make up for it by not being the first to leave the party, as a way to make up to the host. There exists a class of beings who are genetically inferior, who cannot grasp the physics of time, and even as they try hard as they may, the energies of the universe conspire against them such that there will always be circumstances to make them late. I am one of them. I was nearly expelled from school for being a habitual late-comer, perpetually risking a break-neck dash to make it to morning assembly.

All grown up now, I realise I cannot behave like a tardy delinquent in polite society. I have resolved to be on time. One trick I learned is to verbalise “tick tock tick tock” while getting ready for an engagement – a mental exercise to remind myself that time is inelastic, and that I cannot stretch it. Okay, got to run now. I am late for dinner because I tried stretching time by responding to this debate. Tick tock tick tock…

Celina alternates between diligently trying to derive a living from passive income, and desperately managing time in her multiple roles as mother, friend, social being and organic farmer. 

 

Ingrid Pratsaya

Entrepreneur


YES

Within reason, it is okay to be late. The politics of arriving late for a dinner party have always been hotly debated. Even the notion of being “fashionably late” implies a certain je ne sais quoi or positive element to being the last to arrive, insinuating that it is actually fashionable to do so. What party starts without me, I hear you ask! As modern guests often have full schedules and other commitments, arriving late is becoming the norm. 

In today’s busy world, any lateness is more often than not unavoidable. This does not mean to say that one can turn up at any time one pleases, which is simply bad manners, but that some consideration to polite tardiness may occasionally be necessary. 

An effective way to manage this is to offer your guests the best of both worlds. For example, you could tell them that dinner is set for 7pm. Offering cocktails and canapés for the first half an hour allows latecomers the opportunity to catch up and join the festivities.

A tardy entrance may be on trend but empty stomachs are so last season.

Ingrid is an Indonesia-born entrepreneur involved in hospitality, shipping and property businesses.


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