Our resident etiquette expert answers the #SGTatlerBall2016 FAQs.

It’s three days to the ball and I haven’t received my invitation yet. Could it be that I’m not calling the host often enough?
Miss Demeanour Tell me, is anyone picking up your call at all?

The audacity! I’ve been seated next to the door/speakers. Should I even attend the event again next year?
Miss Demeanour What makes you think you’ll be invited next year?

My trusted couturier says dress codes are overrated. I would make a much better entrance in shorts, don’t you think?
Miss Demeanour It’s a ball, honey—not a bar. Don’t beg for the seat next to the speakers so openly.

Isn’t everything on my table part of the door gift?
Miss Demeanour Well I don’t know… Are you the charity that this ball is supporting?

The appetiser is too cold. The soup is too hot! The main course is too large. And the desserts—they’re way too sweet! Is there anything I can actually eat at the ball?
Miss Demeanour Oh, we’re sorry. Is the oxygen just right for you, then?

I’ve taken all the effort to look 20 years younger, put on my on-theme gown, and even piled on my best jewellery. I’m deeply offended that the photographer can’t spare me a few minutes to do a solo photo shoot!
Miss Demeanour What is your Instagram husband and iPhone 7 for, darling?